Tethers

When people ask me about my job, I typically tell them that I hang out in trees all day.  Today was one of those days, meaning that I was stationed on the high ropes course for 2 classes in the afternoon.  One of the things we do during the "upload" (which is what we call the time where we give instructions) is tell the kids what they should hold onto while they are out on the course.  My particular phrase usually sounds something like this, "So while you are on the course you can hold on to these wires above you, you can hold onto your tethers, or you can hold on to nothing.  If you choose to hold onto your tethers, the higher you hold the more stable and secure you will be, if you grab on down lower, you might feel wobbly and unstable."  Now, we don't have a script, but after you give these instructions a few hundred times, the speech starts to get memorized.  So I say those same words, almost exactly, every single time.  Seriously, I sound like a robot.

Nothing was different about today on the course.  I gave the upload like usual, except this time, when I said those words, something hit me.  I'm not sure what exactly, but I do know that I stumbled over the next few lines of instructions because my brain was going on a journey.  A new adventure that those words had never brought me into before.  Today, for some reason, those words did something to me.  So much so that my mood was instantly changed and my heart was at rest, no longer feeling stretched and strained and twisted like it does so often these days.  I heard myself say those words and in a fraction of a second this is the train my thoughts traveled away upon.

I wondered how different things would be if I took my own advice, holding on as high as I possibly could.  Not to my tethers, the ropes course is something that doesn't scare me in the least, but to God.  He is what is going to put my heart at rest and He is the only stability and sanity that is going to last.  What if I held on higher and higher, letting Him be my security?  What if I stopped trying to balance myself and simply reached up high, just like He calls me to do?  So often I try to figure things out logically.  I want answers and reasons and plans and explanations that make sense.  I want to fix things and I want control.  But what if I did what I ask these kids to do every day?  What if I stepped out in faith, grasping onto those metaphorical tethers as high as I possibly could, and just let myself go?  Leaving logic and reasoning behind, what would happen?

It amazes me just how much God can teach me in everyday things.  Today He reached right into what is probably one of the most mundane and repetitive things that I do and called me to Himself.  He used words I say every single day to penetrate to my very core, dealing with the instability and chaos that has defined my emotional life recently.  The higher I hold, the more stable and secure I will be.  Such simple words, but such deeply profound truth!

Running Away

Some of you know that I am currently applying to grad schools, some of which would move me across the country.  Now, while this might have terrified me last year, I am actually really excited about the idea of going back to school and having a new adventure in a new place.  I feel like the Lord is revealing more of what I was created for and leading me on to new things.  As with any change, this will mean leaving some things behind.  Some things will be sad to leave, while others I will be more than happy to put in my past.  The other day I was talking with a friend about this very thing, mentioning that there are certain things that I can’t wait to get away from, when he asked a question that struck me:

“What are you running from?”

Initially, I assured him I was not running away, just moving on and letting go of my life as I know it right now.  But it got me thinking, am I running away?  Which got me thinking, how would I even know if I’m running away?  What’s the opposite of running away?

This is what I came up with.

I think the opposite of “running away” is “claiming your freedom”.  And I think the defining factor that makes them different is the presence of fear.

Running away is what you do when you are scared or angry, which often comes as a package deal.  It’s what you do when you are afraid of the problems and messes you’ve gotten yourself into—when you don’t think you can stand things as they are anymore.  It’s what you do when you feel hopeless and out of answers, or when you think you’ve been wronged and you feel hurt and unloved.  It’s what you do when you realize things aren’t as they should be and you don’t know how to fix them.  You do it when you feel guilty and beyond repair.  We run because it’s easier than stinking around and dealing with the reality.  We run because we are scared.

Running away doesn’t require us to face our problems and it doesn’t include any sort of reconciliation or restoration.  There is no change, no closure, and no healing.  Running away is about what you are leaving, not what you are going to.  It centers on what was, not what will be.

Very similar in appearance is the act of claiming your freedom.  While it looks the same on the outside as running away (leaving one place or job or relationship for something different), it is entirely different in almost every other way.  It’s what you do when you are being called to something new—when you want to see change happen.  It’s what you do when your life is changing and you have to change with it.  We claim our freedom when we realize we are not what we were created to be and we desire to become those people.  We claim our freedom when we see that we are still living enslaved to things that we think still own us.  We claim our freedom when we realize we are free.

Claiming your freedom changes the current state of things.  There is closure and finality on the life we had and anticipation for the life we are moving into.  Instead of fear, claiming your freedom is restful.  It moves us to a new adventure, closer to becoming the people we were created to be.  It is fulfilling and life-giving, not littered with pain and brokenness.  Claiming your freedom brings healing to the past and changes your heart.  Claiming your freedom is about what you are moving on to, not what you are leaving.  It centers on what is and will be, not what was.

Do you see the contrast?  Do you see that you are free?  Do you live in that freedom, or are you running from something?

God does not have us run from problems, He has us face them and deal with them.  He did not run from the cross, He finished the job.  Moses ran from Egypt in fear, but God had him go back to free his people, and then leave again—but this time he left in freedom, not in fear.  Jacob returns home to meet Esau, returning to the land he was meant for.  None of these were the easy way out.  All of them involve struggling through hard situations to get to the point where people could be free and fulfill the lives they were meant for.  And all of those people had to have a great deal of faith and trust in the Lord.  They had to follow His leading.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”  [2 Corinthians 3:17]

That’s the other part of this, I am realizing that freedom requires following the Spirit completely.  Without that, we are trying to control things.  Without that, we are running scared in our own self-centered world.  But the Lord leads His people into freedom.  He does not settle for the easy way out, avoiding the harder situations and problems, but instead leads His people through the dessert—for 40 years—to freedom.  He doesn’t say it will be easy and He doesn’t say it will always be happy, but he leads us to freedom.  And I am learning over and over again that true freedom is infinitely better than any temporary comfort you could attempt grasp for yourself.

“For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”  [Romans 8:2]

So I haven’t decided yet if I am running away or taking hold of my freedom, maybe right now it’s a little bit of both.  Either way, God is gracious.  He will lead me into the freedom He bought for me whether I understand the road I am on or not.  He is not going to let me run scared while I refuse to deal with things that need to be dealt with.  And He will free me from those things and lead me on into His goodness and love.  This is the God I serve—a God of freedom and relentless love.  I have already been set free, all I have to do is claim it for myself and leave the fear behind.  You are already free, my friends, claim your freedom.