Chosen

I hate making decisions.  I am always so nervous I am going to choose the wrong thing that I would rather just let other people decide for me.  I’m not even talking big decisions; I’m actually pretty level-headed with big decisions (with the exception of deciding to go on the World Race, but that’s a story for another day…).  The decisions I am talking about right now are the tiny insignificant ones.  What do I want for dinner?  What movie do I want to watch?  What music do I want to listen to in the car?  What cereal should I buy?

I know it’s absurd how hard these meaningless decisions are for me to make, but let me tell you why I struggle with them so much.  I don’t want to be disappointed with my choices.  I want to enjoy my morning cereal, thank you very much, and I can’t do that if I pick the wrong one.  So I debate and analyze and compare and go over pros and cons in my head until I finally land on a decision.  And you know what?  I usually enjoy my cereal.

This all sounds silly, but in all honestly, it means a great deal to be chosen.  Why do you think so many kids cry when they are picked last in gym class?  Obviously, my cereal choice doesn’t really matter that much, but knowing that I, a ridiculous messy human, have been chosen by the King of the universe matters a great deal.  It changes everything about who I am and what I’m about.

“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.  In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will—to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.”  [Ephesians 1:4-6]

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be chosen.  I think being chosen means to be carefully picked out for some purpose.  Being chosen means you are wanted and desired, pleasing and acceptable to the one doing the choosing.  There is a great deal of love and security behind knowing that you have been chosen.  It means you’ve been seen as good enough to satisfy the purpose in which you were chosen for.  It means you are valued and seen as worthy.  So, to be chosen by the God that made the earth and stars and galaxies carries an incredible amount of weight.  I am wanted, desired, chosen by the King.  I have been chosen to be saved [2 Thessalonians 2:13], to receive an inheritance [Psalm 33:12], and to be adopted into His kingdom [Ephesians 1:5].  That’s an incredible identity right there.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.”  [1 Peter 2:9]

Here’s the thing, along with being chosen comes a great deal of expectations.  I was chosen for a purpose.  I was chosen to bear lasting fruit [John 15:16], to be holy and blameless [Ephesians 1:4], to not belong to the world [John 15:19], and to be conformed to the likeness of Christ [Romans 8:29].  Hold up.  I don’t think I am the one He wants for all that.  I mean, I was never the one to be picked first in gym class, is he sure He knows what He’s doing?  Those are some lofty expectations for a puny little human like me. 

But I have been chosen.  It’s funny that the very thing that ascribes us a great deal of responsibility is also the thing that gives us the strength to rise to the occasion.  Being chosen calls me to be more, to rise up and meet the bar set for me, and it is knowing that I am chosen that gives me the faith and boldness to even reach for that bar—to run the race set out for me.  I serve a God that doesn’t make wrong decisions.  So if He chose me, He must know what He’s doing.  He must know that I’m not worthless.  He must know that I matter.  He must know there is more to me than I think there is.  He must know way more about me than I do if He is choosing me to be on His team.  And even beyond that, He must really love me if He’s willing to love me when I fail at all of those responsibilities.  And I will fail, because I am human and I am broken.  But I am loved by the Creator.  I am chosen despite my imperfection, for an incredible purpose.  I am adopted into His royal family and I get all the perks and all the expectations that come with it.  It won’t be easy, but I’ll take it.

So hello, nice to meet you, my name is Patty, and I am a daughter of the King.

Also, I thought of this after I wrote this, silly, but extremely applicable :)

I dare you, come at me.

Question.

What makes you stronger?

Is it hard work?

Is it perseverance?

Is it being challenged?

Is it a good attitude?

Is it the ability to compartmentalize?

Is it patience and being worry free?

Is it bench pressing 5 trillion pounds?

What if I told you that my weakness is what makes me stronger?  That the weaker I get, the stronger I get?

You might call me crazy.  I mean, by the very definition, that makes no sense at all.  They are opposites, weakness and strength, you simply can't be both.  A year ago, I might have agreed with you. But now, after a year full of experiences (a year full of rather hard experiences), I'd have to challenge you.  Sometimes, my dear friends, things simply don't make sense.  And it's taken me a long time, but I have finally learned that that's ok, things don't always have to be logical.  So let me share with you the story of how I got here.

Recently, I've been praying a lot of prayers.  Praying doesn't seem to do it justice.  It seems to quiet and passive a term, though I know it shouldn't.  No, what I've been doing is pleading.  I've been begging God for His patience, perseverance, and grace.  I've been begging Him to change me, save me, and bring me closer to Him.  I've been begging Him to root me in Him deeper and deeper and deeper.

You see, I've been so deeply aware of my sinfulness that I am becoming more and more aware of how much of a miracle it is that I even know Him at all.  I've been so aware if my sin and so desperate to see change, but so assured that I have no control over any of it.  I can't fix myself.  I can't save myself.  I can't discipline myself into perfection.  This sort of realization can leave a person feeling helpless and hopeless.  This can leave a person scared.

So I'll be honest, friends, which you all know is my most favorite thing to do (if you didn't hear the sarcasm there, you don't know me well enough), and I'll tell you I've been scared. Yep, you heard me. Scared.

Scared that at any moment I could break.

Scared that at any moment I could just slip through the cracks and lose everything.

Scared that at any moment I could make one wrong choice and go into a tailspin.

Scared that I simply can't handle any more struggle.

Scared that at any moment I might just choose to give up fighting the good fight and opt out for the easy road.

But then there's grace.

And it changes everything.

Because I've been pleading.  Pleading for God to make me solid.  Pleading for Him to root me, deep and unmovable, in Him, that I might stand firm.  Pleading for Him not to give up on me.  Pleading for Him to not let me go.

And it occurs to me, He's never not been doing all of those things I have been asking for.  I am seeing that every struggle, every pain, every hit is only rooting me deeper and stronger in Him.  Every time I break, I become more solid, more sure, more His.

It's funny, now that I think about it, that the very things the enemy intends for evil, God redeems.  All the ways he tries to break me only make me stronger in the Lord.  The ways he tried to pull me away only push me closer to my God.

It makes me feel a little sneaky, like I've been let in on some big cosmic secret.

My God is a God of redemption.  My struggles are not meaningless.  He does not merely help me get through them and make me feel better.  No, He uses them.  He redeems them for good.  My struggles are crucial blocks in what He's building me to be, and I need Him to keep building me.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  [Romans 8:38-39]

I feel like I've reached a point of confidence in my faith, and in God, that I've never had before.  (And let's be serious, the word "confidence", is not a word commonly used when talking about me, so this is kind of huge). Nothing can take me from Him.  What's His is His.  He plays for keeps.  The fact that I am His will never change.  Someone told me once that I should never use the word never, because it was too strong a word and I had to be really really certain I meant it.  (If I recall, I think The Biebs also mentioned something about never saying never...).  So let me say it again so you get just how serious I am about this.

The fact the I am His will NEVER change.  Period.  End of discussion.

So, come at me.  Go ahead, just try to break me.  I dare you.  Because it only makes me stronger and I am beginning to welcome anything that God can use to let me know Him more.  Because I am His.

Also, this is one of my most favorite songs in the world.  And it applies here quite nicely.

“So tell me why I should run for cover

At the sound of the coming thunder

All I hear is the cry of my lover

So take your shot

I won't turn back”

-“Won’t Turn Back” by NeedToBreathe

Psalm 139

How precious to me are your thoughts, O god!  How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.  When I awake, I am still with you.  [Psalm 139:17-18]

I never understood this passage.  I have said it and read it over and over.  I memorized the psalm for goodness sake.  But I never understood this part.  What thoughts?  Why are God’s thoughts precious to me?  I don't know what god is thinking, and why do I care that he has a lot of thoughts?  And what does being with him have to do with any of that?  One thing that continually astounds me about the god I love is that he can take something that I have heard over and over and in an instant change it's meaning to me forever.  I used to gloss over is passage, just breezing over it because I didn't really know what it meant and It simply didn't stand out.  But the other day the Lord put this psalm in my path once again and changed how I read this, and how I see Him.

I won’t lie, my first thought when I saw that Psalm 139 was the passage I was supposed to read that was that I might as well skip reading it because, since I have it memorized, I clearly already know everything there is to know about this passage.  God can't possibly teach me anything new from it right?  Wrong.  I mean, seriously.  Could I be any more arrogant?  I decided I would read through it anyway and ponder it a little, trying to pull out pictures of intimacy from it, since that was the theme of the bible study I was doing that day.  It makes sense that they picked this psalm to go with that theme, there are so many parts of this psalm that show how intimately God knows us, but for some reason, on this particular day, the Lord chose to reveal his Intimate love for me in these words.  These words.  The ones that had meant nothing to me thus far, even as I had spent so much time in this passage over the past couple years.

We, as humans, want to know we are loved.  And part of this includes wanting to know we are thought of often and missed when we aren't around.  We want to know we are wanted, that we matter enough to be longed for and adored.  As I read this words, it was like the Lord was saying to me, so incredibly clearly, "Oh hey Patty.  You know those thoughts of mine that you are reading about?  Did you know they are all about you?  There are so many wonderful thoughts I have of you, my dear.  Hundreds and thousands and millions of beautiful thoughts of you because I love you so dearly.  I know you better than you know you, and I love you.  You are always with me, always on my heart, always on my mind.  I long for you, and I delight in you.  I will celebrate the day that finally, after so much, I get to be with you forever."

I was astounded.  We all want someone to say that to us, to be so in love with us that they can’t get us off their mind.  I am no different.  But as I walked and pondered this psalm, I heard the God of the universe declaring that love for me.  I have it right here in writing, it’s no lie, I am loved by the Lord, the God of the universe, the Creator, the Mighty King.  Naturally, being the self-centered, unbelieving sinner that I am, my first thought was, "Why in the world would He want to love me?” But this passage isn’t about me, it’s about Him.  It’s a declaration of how deeply He loves us, longs for us, knows us, and loves us.  It’s a picture into the very heart of God.  And His heart is full of deep and beautiful thoughts of us.  Us.  His lovers, His created, His children. 

Being in love with someone that does not love you in return is brutal.  But intimacy with God is mutual.  It is not one sided.  It is not us humans begging an unreachable God to notice us.  No, it’s a mutual desire to be with each other.  We long for Him and He longs for us as well.   He wants us there with Him just as much as we want to be with Him.  That's why He died for us.  That's why He conquered death.  That's why He bridged the gap.  That's why He rescued us.  And that's why He blesses us so abundantly with life and love.  He desires us.  He longs for us.  We are on His heart and mind.  He does not withhold himself from us, He wants to give us all of himself, in every facet.  And He longs for us to give ourselves to him without holding anything back.  

Along with this psalm, I read an excerpt from a book called The River Within by Jeff Imbach.  In this excerpt, Imbach references a book called The Art of Intimacy.  Imbach writes,

“According to the Malones, intimacy is distinguished from closeness.  The word intimacy is derived from the latin word intima, meaning “inner” or “innermost,” and carries the idea of being in touch with our inner selves.  It does not focus on the feelings of warmth or the awareness of similarity.  Intimacy is the art of bringing our true selves into the relationship.”

Intimacy with the Lord is exactly what intimacy should be.  It is deep and fulfills a longing in us that we can't satisfy any other way.  The God who created us and knows us and loves us is the only one that can bring us into that intimacy, the only one that can bring out who we truly are as we go deeper into knowing who He truly is.  He knows us better than we know ourselves, and he loves us more deeply than we can even fathom.  We desire intimacy because we were made for it and because God is calling us into that intimacy with Him.  It's the deepest and truest intimacy out there, and all He wants to do is love us.  And all we have to do is let Him.  He brought Himself directly to us, to be with us, and He changes us to become who we were always meant to be.  It is in Him that we really find ourselves and experience the One that knows who we are, down to the deepest depths of ourselves.  That, my friends, is what intimacy is.  That is what we were made for.  That is how our God loves us.

Tethers

When people ask me about my job, I typically tell them that I hang out in trees all day.  Today was one of those days, meaning that I was stationed on the high ropes course for 2 classes in the afternoon.  One of the things we do during the "upload" (which is what we call the time where we give instructions) is tell the kids what they should hold onto while they are out on the course.  My particular phrase usually sounds something like this, "So while you are on the course you can hold on to these wires above you, you can hold onto your tethers, or you can hold on to nothing.  If you choose to hold onto your tethers, the higher you hold the more stable and secure you will be, if you grab on down lower, you might feel wobbly and unstable."  Now, we don't have a script, but after you give these instructions a few hundred times, the speech starts to get memorized.  So I say those same words, almost exactly, every single time.  Seriously, I sound like a robot.

Nothing was different about today on the course.  I gave the upload like usual, except this time, when I said those words, something hit me.  I'm not sure what exactly, but I do know that I stumbled over the next few lines of instructions because my brain was going on a journey.  A new adventure that those words had never brought me into before.  Today, for some reason, those words did something to me.  So much so that my mood was instantly changed and my heart was at rest, no longer feeling stretched and strained and twisted like it does so often these days.  I heard myself say those words and in a fraction of a second this is the train my thoughts traveled away upon.

I wondered how different things would be if I took my own advice, holding on as high as I possibly could.  Not to my tethers, the ropes course is something that doesn't scare me in the least, but to God.  He is what is going to put my heart at rest and He is the only stability and sanity that is going to last.  What if I held on higher and higher, letting Him be my security?  What if I stopped trying to balance myself and simply reached up high, just like He calls me to do?  So often I try to figure things out logically.  I want answers and reasons and plans and explanations that make sense.  I want to fix things and I want control.  But what if I did what I ask these kids to do every day?  What if I stepped out in faith, grasping onto those metaphorical tethers as high as I possibly could, and just let myself go?  Leaving logic and reasoning behind, what would happen?

It amazes me just how much God can teach me in everyday things.  Today He reached right into what is probably one of the most mundane and repetitive things that I do and called me to Himself.  He used words I say every single day to penetrate to my very core, dealing with the instability and chaos that has defined my emotional life recently.  The higher I hold, the more stable and secure I will be.  Such simple words, but such deeply profound truth!

Running Away

Some of you know that I am currently applying to grad schools, some of which would move me across the country.  Now, while this might have terrified me last year, I am actually really excited about the idea of going back to school and having a new adventure in a new place.  I feel like the Lord is revealing more of what I was created for and leading me on to new things.  As with any change, this will mean leaving some things behind.  Some things will be sad to leave, while others I will be more than happy to put in my past.  The other day I was talking with a friend about this very thing, mentioning that there are certain things that I can’t wait to get away from, when he asked a question that struck me:

“What are you running from?”

Initially, I assured him I was not running away, just moving on and letting go of my life as I know it right now.  But it got me thinking, am I running away?  Which got me thinking, how would I even know if I’m running away?  What’s the opposite of running away?

This is what I came up with.

I think the opposite of “running away” is “claiming your freedom”.  And I think the defining factor that makes them different is the presence of fear.

Running away is what you do when you are scared or angry, which often comes as a package deal.  It’s what you do when you are afraid of the problems and messes you’ve gotten yourself into—when you don’t think you can stand things as they are anymore.  It’s what you do when you feel hopeless and out of answers, or when you think you’ve been wronged and you feel hurt and unloved.  It’s what you do when you realize things aren’t as they should be and you don’t know how to fix them.  You do it when you feel guilty and beyond repair.  We run because it’s easier than stinking around and dealing with the reality.  We run because we are scared.

Running away doesn’t require us to face our problems and it doesn’t include any sort of reconciliation or restoration.  There is no change, no closure, and no healing.  Running away is about what you are leaving, not what you are going to.  It centers on what was, not what will be.

Very similar in appearance is the act of claiming your freedom.  While it looks the same on the outside as running away (leaving one place or job or relationship for something different), it is entirely different in almost every other way.  It’s what you do when you are being called to something new—when you want to see change happen.  It’s what you do when your life is changing and you have to change with it.  We claim our freedom when we realize we are not what we were created to be and we desire to become those people.  We claim our freedom when we see that we are still living enslaved to things that we think still own us.  We claim our freedom when we realize we are free.

Claiming your freedom changes the current state of things.  There is closure and finality on the life we had and anticipation for the life we are moving into.  Instead of fear, claiming your freedom is restful.  It moves us to a new adventure, closer to becoming the people we were created to be.  It is fulfilling and life-giving, not littered with pain and brokenness.  Claiming your freedom brings healing to the past and changes your heart.  Claiming your freedom is about what you are moving on to, not what you are leaving.  It centers on what is and will be, not what was.

Do you see the contrast?  Do you see that you are free?  Do you live in that freedom, or are you running from something?

God does not have us run from problems, He has us face them and deal with them.  He did not run from the cross, He finished the job.  Moses ran from Egypt in fear, but God had him go back to free his people, and then leave again—but this time he left in freedom, not in fear.  Jacob returns home to meet Esau, returning to the land he was meant for.  None of these were the easy way out.  All of them involve struggling through hard situations to get to the point where people could be free and fulfill the lives they were meant for.  And all of those people had to have a great deal of faith and trust in the Lord.  They had to follow His leading.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”  [2 Corinthians 3:17]

That’s the other part of this, I am realizing that freedom requires following the Spirit completely.  Without that, we are trying to control things.  Without that, we are running scared in our own self-centered world.  But the Lord leads His people into freedom.  He does not settle for the easy way out, avoiding the harder situations and problems, but instead leads His people through the dessert—for 40 years—to freedom.  He doesn’t say it will be easy and He doesn’t say it will always be happy, but he leads us to freedom.  And I am learning over and over again that true freedom is infinitely better than any temporary comfort you could attempt grasp for yourself.

“For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”  [Romans 8:2]

So I haven’t decided yet if I am running away or taking hold of my freedom, maybe right now it’s a little bit of both.  Either way, God is gracious.  He will lead me into the freedom He bought for me whether I understand the road I am on or not.  He is not going to let me run scared while I refuse to deal with things that need to be dealt with.  And He will free me from those things and lead me on into His goodness and love.  This is the God I serve—a God of freedom and relentless love.  I have already been set free, all I have to do is claim it for myself and leave the fear behind.  You are already free, my friends, claim your freedom.

Beauty from Unlikely Circumstances

“But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.’” [Luke 2:10-11]

Merry Christmas all! Today is a day of joy and celebration! It’s essentially day one of God’s rescue mission to save His people from darkness! Do you see it like that? Do you see that you are so helpless without Him that His coming to earth is worth celebrating like this? Do we see that there is a reason to be full of joy, full of hope, and full of peace? I know I often forget all of this. But it’s incredible! Think about it, we were all walking to our death and all of a sudden God comes down to earth to save us, to pull us out of darkness. How relieving is that! He is finally here and this day is a day to remember that we were once lost, and now we have been found. We were once broken, and now we are made whole. We were once dead, and now we are alive! No wonder we go all out at Christmastime to celebrate and be merry, we have so much to be merry about! But what is so incredible to me is how God chooses to do His work…

This is not just a nice story about a baby and a star and some shepherds and livestock. This is not just a story to make you feel good inside. This is not just a story to tell around the Christmas tree while sipping hot chocolate. In fact, this is not just a story at all. This is history. This is our God. And this is just as relevant today as it was on that night when Christ was born. This is truth. This is our beautiful reality.

^“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” [Philippians 2:6-8]

God chooses to leave His throne and come to earth as a human, to humble himself to the level of a man, to come save us. Save us from what exactly? From ourselves, and from the evil one. As a shepherd protects his sheep from attacks with his rod and from themselves with his staff, so did God come down to protect us from the evil one and from ourselves. David said, “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” [Psalm 23:4] He came to save us from death, for He is our shepherd. He is a God of love and life. And He is a God of justice, so He came to save us in love and truth. But He came as a baby—the most helpless and vulnerable form. And He came out of a scandalous situation since His parents were not yet married. His parents would have faced a lot of opposition because of their circumstances. This amazes me, why in the world would God choose to enter the world like this? He can do whatever he wants right? Right. So he chose to make something beautiful out of something unlikely. He was born in a humble manger, out of a scandalous circumstance. The God of the universe came into the world in an unlikely way and changed the world forever. Later in life He would save the world as the product of another unlikely circumstance. Death—something very obviously negative—He turns into the most joyful and beautiful event to ever occur because it saved us.

“O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

-O Holy Night

My God likes to take unlikely circumstances and make them beautiful. Things that no one would ever expect to produce anything good. Nathanael said to Philip, “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” [John 1:46] What better way to show the world how glorious and powerful He is? It makes sense for good things to come of good circumstances, but good things from bad circumstances? That’s when people pay attention. That’s when people are changed forever.

“But a certain sign of grace is this
From a broken earth flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt…

And the truest sign of grace was this
From wounded hands redemption fell down
Liberating man”

-David Crowder Band, “Wholly Yours”

(In fact, just go listen to the whole song; it says what I am trying to say better than I can. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jrj0PriR9Bs)

Everyone loves a good story about someone beating the odds and making something of themselves when the whole world is against them. There is power in doing the unthinkable, the unlikely, and the seemingly impossible. This is our God. He makes beauty out of pain. Love out of hate. Peace out of chaos. He really is that good. He made humans out of dust. He restored the world through a flood. He saved the Hebrew people from Egypt through Moses, a Hebrew that grew up in the pharaoh’s household after his mother sent him down the river to save him from death. David, frequently called “a man after God’s own heart”, was also an adulterer and murderer from whose line Jesus would eventually be born. He came into the world as a baby and died a brutal death in the greatest act of love ever known to save His people. Then He spread His gospel through Paul, arguably the most influential man in the early church, who used to be a persecutor of Christians. The list goes on and on.

It doesn’t end there. God still chooses unlikely people to do His work and show His glory to the world. He makes beautiful things out of brokenness, pain, and suffering. Our bad circumstances only grow us closer to Him and strengthen us. The things that hurt us and tempt us make us more aware of how tightly God’s grip on us really is. In Christ, we both die to ourselves and gain incredible life in Him. We see the depth of our sin more and more, but we gain an even greater understanding of how deeply we are loved. He makes good things out of unlikely circumstances. We are a part of a story much bigger than ourselves and it is being written perfectly and beautifully. God is pretty brilliant, I mean, we cannot understand how good God is without also seeing how bad things are. To see Him for who He is, we must have something to compare it to. We cannot understand how deeply His love is without knowing how unworthy we are. We cannot understand His power without hitting rock bottom and being completely powerless. We cannot understand His goodness without seeing how disgusting and vile we, as humans, truly are at our core. We cannot understand how incredible it is that He has rescued us until we see how badly we need to be rescued.

But these bad things only increase our joy on this day. How much more excited we are about the coming of the savior when we know how badly we need to be saved! How much more we want to celebrate! Who says my God is boring!? No way. He is incredible and glorious and powerful and beautiful and bold and creative. He takes unlikely, hopeless circumstances and surprises us by bringing us goodness and peace and love and joy through them. Today is not just a day to make us feel good, it is a day to remember how the world has been changed. A day to remember the reality that we live in—that we are so broken and helpless and He has come to save us with love and power. A day for worship of our King who came to bring hope in a world of darkness—to bring life to the dead. How incredible is our God!?

Merry Christmas my dear friends! May you see how radical His love really is and may He make beautiful things from your unlikely circumstances. Know that He loves you on this Christmas day, and all others, for He came down for you, to save you from the darkness and bring you life and great joy!

“All around, Hope is springing up from this old ground, Out of chaos life is being found in You, You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust”

-Gungor, “Beautiful Things”

Still True

Somehow, after we have been Christians for some time, we start to forget that the gospel is still true. We would never say it, or claim that it wasn’t true, but we fall into a rut of believing that, since we are supposed to be mature in our faith now, grace has somehow run out. We think that after the newness wears off, we must be better, do better, think better, and perform better. We must no longer be the flawed human that came to Jesus originally for His grace, comfort, and love. If we have not yet been transformed, we must be doing something wrong. We believe, in essence, that being a Christian is supposed to make you perfect in this life. This is where we are wrong.

The Church is just as much a bunch of messy, sinful, wicked people as the rest of the world. We are humans and humans are flawed. Being a Christian does not change our sinful nature. No matter how long we live as Christians, we will always be sinful wicked people. We cannot change this. Jesus can, and does, but nowhere does God promise that we will be perfected in this life. Even Paul stated that he had not yet gotten it all together. He didn’t claim to be perfect at all. In fact, he claims just the opposite:

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” [Philippians 3:12]

“So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.” [Romans 7:21-23]

Somewhere along the road we fall into the pit of thinking that we are supposed to be perfect now that we are Christians. But here’s the thing, the gospel is just as true for us now as it was when we first came to Jesus, or rather, when He first came to us. He came to save those who need a savior, and the more we realize that we still need a savior every single day of our lives, the more we will see that this truly is good news. His grace is not a one-time gift, His mercies are new every single day—and I am learning that this is a beautiful truth in which we can have hope and rest. Like manna from heaven, we receive grace again every day, and we need it every day.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” [Lamentations 3:22-23]

As Christians, we are called to live differently, but nowhere does it say that when we fail, we are somehow disqualified from His grace again. Our hearts are being transformed, and that inevitably changes our actions, but when we “become Christians” we are not instantly made perfect. We are made new. We find new life and new hope and new peace and rest and joy and love in Christ. We finally are able to see that we are hopeless without Him, which makes His love so incredible, so beautiful, and so relieving. We are finally able to rest knowing that the God of the universe loves us in the midst of our brokenness. But we are still broken, that has not changed. We still need Him.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” [2 Corinthians 5:17]

Being a Christian is about realizing your absolute sinfulness that can’t be cured by human hands. It’s about grasping the reality of our need to be saved. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need Jesus. Being a Christian means that we are His. It means that we see that we are hopeless without Him and desperately in need of His redeeming love. This kind of love changes us. It transforms us. Eventually the transformation will be complete, we will be perfected, but we have no reason to believe that occurs in this life, in this fallen state. We still live as fallen humans—redeemed, but still imperfect.

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 1:6]

Do you see the difference? Do you see that it is never about how good you are for Him, but instead about how good He is? This doesn’t change as we mature as Christians. The gospel is still true for us today. We are wicked sinful people being continually saved by a loving God who loves us too much to let us go. And we need Him every single day as we live in the reality of our imperfection.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” [Romans 5:8]

"Oh yeah, that tether could tow a truck."

Those are words that I say almost every day at work to nervous kids that aren't sure whether to take the risks necessary to have adventures. On the zip-line and the ropes course, at least one kid in every group will ask, "Are you sure this can hold me?" While our answers have become somewhat routine, and strategies to talk them through it don't change too much, the fears are very real and very unfamiliar to each and every kid. Today, I encountered one student with a very real fear of the zip-line, and what I learned from her took me by surprise.

As I stood on top of the zip-line tower, a nervous middle-school girl asked me, "what if I let go of this tether as I go down?". Without even thinking, my response was, "well that's ok because even if you let go of that tether, that tether will still be holding you." Immediately I was humbled by the truth of that statement in a deeper sense, and how I fail to believe it for myself. If you've never read John 15:1-17, do it. It'll put all this in context.

While I rarely get nervous on our adventure elements, I can totally understand why this girl was scared. Even though she was told it was safe, and that nothing was going to keep that tether from holding her up on the zip-line, she had never experienced it for herself. She wasn't going to really know that it was safe til she arrived safely at the bottom, but to step off the tower, she had to trust that it was true. I know that I am a branch, held in to the vine. I know that God holds on to me even when I don't cling back to Him. But how often do I not trust it? How often to I question whether it is actually real? How often do I live my life as if it's up to me to hold on? How often do I live (or not live) believing that he won't come through for me, that He won't be good enough?

This girl's fear was unnecessary, just like mine, and I resonate with it so much. I so easily fall into this same fear every day. Father, help me truly trust that You are who You are, that I am safe in You, so that I can experience real life and adventure, and arrive safely at the end, with a full knowledge of Your love, grace, and truth.

Taylor, Peter, and I Never Wanna Grow Up

I was listening to a song today called “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift (yes, I said Taylor Swift) and was shipped off on a long train of thought on what it actually means not to grow up. Believe it or not, I think Miss Swift is on to something. It really would be easier to never grow up. For the record, I believe Peter Pan would also agree with Taylor and I. But what does it really mean to never grow up?

Just the other day I told one of my former teachers that I am refusing to grow up. His response was simply, “good”, paired with a genuine smile that exposed a shadow of nostalgia. There is a simplicity that characterizes being young and we think we have no choice but to let go of that simplicity as we grow up. But I disagree. I don’t think life has to be as complicated as we make it. I think we really can refuse to grow up. Let me tell you why.

First of all, it’s painfully true that life is hard. In her song, Taylor equates growing up with life getting harder and people getting hurt, and I think most people would agree that that is true—that’s why my teacher smiled when I said I refuse to grow up, he knows that growing up also means life getting harder. Now, obviously life can be hard when you are little too, but a lot of little kids don’t have a grasp on how rough the world can really be. When I was little, life was about Barbie’s and Polly pockets and playing in the dirt. Even when hard stuff was happening around me, all I was focused on was the good stuff. So what is my point? Life gets complicated as we grow up. It always was hard, but as we start to grow up, we start to take notice of it. We become aware of the pain and hurt in the world and begin to experience it for ourselves. And it kind of sucks. And we, like Taylor, wish we had never grown up.

But while things get complicated—and there is really no avoiding that because we are human—it can also stay simple if we stay focused on what life is really about at the core of everything. When I watch a complicated movie I have to pause frequently to figure out what is going on so that I can keep the story straight in my head. When I get too caught up on the details I lose focus and become completely lost. I have to simplify it so that I can understand what is really going on. I have to be able to understand the core of the movie before I can notice and appreciate the details the second or third time I see it.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the details that we forget the simplicity of the big picture. We forget the central truth of why we are here. We forget the simplicity of the story we are in and get wrapped up in the specifics. If you are anything like me you tend to make things far more complicated than they need to be. I overanalyze and over think things until I don’t even remember what they were like to begin with. All of a sudden, I am in this cloud of what-ifs and rabbit-trails and tangents and I completely forget what is actually going on. I quickly get pulled off track and turn simple things into complicated messes.

But here’s the thing, life doesn’t have to be so complicated. The heart of the story is actually pretty simple. God loves His people. Boom, that’s it. Everything comes back to that truth; it’s the most fundamental part of the story.

In the garden, before evil entered, Adam and Eve were simply with God. Things were simple for them because they merely lived in His love.

In Mark 1, Jesus says to his first disciples “follow me” and they did. Something people spent years working up to (to be a disciple of a rabbi), and for many never became a reality, was broken down for them into a simple call, and they went.

In Mark 12, Jesus breaks down the entirety of the biblical laws to two commands: love God and love others. Something that people spent their lives arguing over and studying was reduced to two simple statements about extending God’s love.

Do you notice anything here? Humans make things complicated, but God’s love is pretty simple. We keep making a mess and God just keeps trying to make it simple again. Simple like in the garden where all they knew was God’s goodness and love. That’s all we really need to know. That’s the core of the story. That’s what we need to get back to.

When I listened to that song, after embarking on this long road trip in my mind, I heard the words differently. It was almost as if God were speaking them to me saying, “Stop making things so complicated and just let me love you already!” I spend so much time debating and wondering and stressing and worrying and analyzing and thinking that I forget that it really is as simple as that. God loves me, I just have to let Him.

Not growing up doesn’t mean being naïve. It doesn’t mean burying your head in the sand and pretending nothing bad ever happens. It doesn’t mean coasting through life with a fake happiness as if everything in life is always peachy. Not growing up means keeping a grasp on what actually matters. It means clinging to the truth that we are loved by the God of the universe. It means keeping your focus on the big picture and letting life be simple, even when it’s chaotic.

We live in the midst of the mess so it can be hard to see, but God’s love is simple. It’s incredible and huge and radical and powerful, but it’s also simple. So I think I agree with Taylor and Peter Pan on this one. Let’s all just never grow up. Let’s all just let God love us and be His little kids forever.

Promises

"If you'll go get me a cookie I'll love you forever and be your best friend!"

This is how we think of promises. Empty words that are only used to gain some sort of end goal. In today's world, promises can seem to be a tactic people use just to get what they want. I mean lets be serious, when its a cookie you want, you'll promise just about anything (especially if it's a Thin Mint...or an Oreo). We have lost trust in what people say and we refuse to believe people until they finally live up to their word. And who could blame us!? We are promised tons of things all our lives that simply never come to fruition. But here's the thing, human promises aren't perfect and therefore we see them fail. When our parents tell us "you can grow up to be anything you want if you set your mind to it" or "I promise it'll all be ok in the end" it's not that they don't truly mean it, it's just that they aren't omniscient. They just do not know what the future holds for us.

But here's the good part. There is one who really does know what the future holds. And not only that, but is in control of it. His promises are perfect and don't ever fail. His name is God. He's pretty cool.

In the midst of this world where words have lost their meaning, God's Word lives and carries so much truth! His promises are real and they are always fulfilled. God promises us love and peace (Isaiah 54:10). He promises to be with us (Isaiah 41:10, Deut 31:8). He promises to guide us (John 16:13). He promises wisdom (James 1:5). He promises us adoption as sons (John 1:12-13). He promises these and so much to His people, whom He loves.

You see, if these things have been promised to us by God, who knows everything and has the power to bring it about, why should we question Him? So often we treat God as if He were human, as if His promises aren't worthy. But He is the Lord God, the Holy One, and the Creator! Why do we question Him? Why don't we believe His Word? How much more could He change us and love us and show us His glory if we truly trusted in His Word!?

So rejoice my friends! Because He is real and His promises are true. What are you waiting for!? Claim the things He has promised to you and let Him give you life!

"Even the darkness is not dark to You"

Sometimes He just reaches in, right to the heart of where we are, right into the depth of the darkness that surrounds us, and takes a hold of us. It's not when we expect it and maybe we don't even know the darkness is closing in, but He doesn't care. He sees the darkness but is not afraid. After all, He has already conquered it. He reaches right into it and pulls us out into the light.

"If I say 'surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You."

-Psalm 139:11-12

The key part of this is that He has overcome the darkness. Forever. It's finished. He gave everything to win back our hearts from the darkness of this world. He loves us that much. There was no way out for us, so He gave us one. The best one. The one thing that could ever bring us back into the beautiful light that is His love. He gave us Christ.

"In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."

-John 1:4-5

So why do we live in darkness when we have already been saved from it? Because we simply don't understand the extent to which He loves us! It's a whole heck of a lot, let me tell you. But even though we still turn away over and over and find ourselves in the darkness again and again, He continues to reach in, just like He did the first time, and pull us out. He never fails to be the light in the darkness. And when I say never, I really mean never.

High Five

So since I enjoyed writing this blog in Israel way more than I expected, I decided to keep updating it every once in a while with various thoughts and experiences! Some of you know that I spent 2 weeks in August at Rockbridge on young life summer staff. To avoid spending 10 hours writing about how great it was, I'll just leave you with this little nugget...

As a summer staffer assigned to the challenge course, one of the things we would do was belay kids on the "high five". Basically, the high five is a telephone pole that kids try to climb up and then jump off of. The goal is to jump out to a glove that's hanging in the air and high five it, hence the name. Sounds crazy, but it's actually pretty awesome. Some kids climb up like it's nobody's business without a care in the world, while other panic the whole way. One day I was belaying a girl that was really nervous about standing on the top of the pole. She climbed all the way up but just couldn't bring herself to let go of the steps and stand. So as an encouragement I said what I had said to so many kids before, "Go ahead and give it a try, whether you jump or fall, I've got you." In that instant, I couldn't help but think that that's exactly how God loves us. He calls us to go, do, serve, and stretch ourselves to the limit, knowing all the while that if we fall, He'll catch us. I couldn't tell this girl whether she would make it or not, and she was shaking like a bowl full of jello so she probably felt incredibly out of control of the the whole situation, but I just wanted her to try. And I knew I was going to catch her and she would be lowered safely to the ground. She had no idea what was going to happen, she just had to trust me.

God just wants us to be a part of the beautiful plan He has worked out for the world. he wants us to have great experiences, to live our lives like they were meant to be lived. He knows that He's going to catch us no matter what (and on that note, love us no matter what). When we trust that He's got us, our fears become obsolete. We can attempt anything, go anywhere, love anyone. We'll mess up for sure and we'll fall along the way but the beauty is that either way-jump or fall-the outcome is the same, He's got us. He's a God that loves us radically, calling us to go out and take risks for Him and rescuing us from how we screw it all up. Is that not awesome!? We go because of this love, this crazy love that is so freeing that we can't help but be compelled by it. We serve because we know He catches us every time and we just can't help but try to love Him back, as feeble our attempts might be. And meanwhile, like a belayer is ready for anything their climber does, God knows what we're going to do every step of the way and He is completely ready to catch us on the way down.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us."

1 John 4:18-19