You have me.

Recently, I have been listening to a band called Gungor. They are amazing, if you haven’t heard of them look them up right now. One song in particular that has basically been playing on repeat in my car is called “You Have Me”. As I’ve been listening to this song, I’ve been thinking of it as a declaration of a man giving his heart to God—as a statement of surrender. “Hey God, here is my heart again, it’s still yours, you still have me.” A rededication of sorts—as if we needed to reassure God that we are still choosing Him. How selfish am I? Do I really think God is up there wondering, waiting, and worrying?

No. By God’s grace, this song just hit me in a radically new way. After hearing it over and over it finally hit me—these aren’t arrogant words of reassurance to God, they are worship. It’s a statement about who God is. What He does. How He loves. He has us. We don’t need to reassure God that we are His, we need to tell ourselves that we are His, every single day. Or we will forget. He knows He has me, He always has known He has me. He made me for goodness sake, why do I think I could be anything but His?

My life is divinely arranged and I need to constantly remind myself of this truth and live in it. Yes, he loves me, He longs for me to choose Him every time, but He isn’t like a needy friend, and I should not be so arrogant to think I am somehow doing Him a favor by gracing Him with my presence, by allowing Him to have me—as if I held the authority in the relationship. He has me whether I like it or not, even though I fight back, resist, and rebel out of selfishness and unbelief. Even though I am unworthy, He has me. I should be in awe of Him, amazed that He would choose me, and falling at His feet in the knowledge that I am so unworthy. It’s not about me at all, it’s entirely about Him. He has me!

How comforting is that? Even when I fail, turn away, seek other things to fill my life, and essentially sell myself out to things I think will satisfy me, He has me. If He has me then I don’t need to worry, I don’t need to stress, I don’t need to control, I don’t need to panic. Fear and worry means I don’t trust His heart for me, but He has me!

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” [Psalm 139:16]

If He has me, it’s just about being His. It’s about knowing whose I am, and telling myself over and over and over and over because apparently I am forgetful. His power is perfect. His love is perfect. He has me. By His infinite grace, by His infinite mercy, for reasons I will likely never fully understand, He has me. He has my heart completely. That’s worth writing a song about. I have no idea what compelled Gungor to write it, or even what they intended to convey, but I’m glad this song exists. And I’m glad God broke through my selfish heart and let me know what it was really about.

You Have Me—Gungor

Out on the farthest edge
There in the silence
You were there
My faith was torn to shreds
Heart in the balance
But You were there

Always faithful
Always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

I thought I had seen the end
Everything broken
But You were there
I’ve wandered in Heaven’s gates
I’ve made my bed in Hell
You were there still

You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely